The lunacy has begun! The apocalypse approaches! Shelf Monkey is on the shelves near you, and is now an award-winning novel! Fear for your safety!
Shelf Monkey - Official Publisher Synopsis
Purchase at Chapters.ca
Purchase at Amazon.ca
Purchase at McNally Robinson Booksellers


Every author I've ever read, plus book counts and incredibly biased star-rating (based on personal feelings of author's overall talent, not total average rating of the books themselves)!
Abbey, Edward [1] - ***1/2Adams, Douglas [7] - ****1/2 Adams, Scott [2] - ***Albom, Mitch [1] - ** Aldiss, Brian W [1] - ***1/2Alexie, Sherman [2] - **** Alten, Steve [2] - **Anderson, Jason [1] - ***1/2 Asimov, Isaac [8] - ****1/2Atwood, Margaret [3] - **** Austen, Jane [1] - ***Auster, Paul [7] - *****Baker, Nicholson [3] - **** Ballard, J.G. [3] - ****1/2Banks, Iain [2] - ****1/2 Banks, Russell [2] - ****1/2Barker, Clive [20] - ****1/2 Barlow, Toby [1] - ****Barnes, Julian [4] - ****1/2 Barry, Max [2] - ***1/2Bateman, Colin [4] - ***1/2 Bellamy, Edward [1] -Benchley, Peter [3] - *** Bennett, Johnathan [1] - ****Blachford, Jeremy [1] - ***1/2 Blechta, Rick [1] - ***Bloch, Robert [1] - **** Block, Lawrence [1] - ****Bock, Dennis [1] - **** Boge, Paul [1] - 0 starsBradbury, Ray [7] - ***** Bram, Christopher [1] - ****1/2Brockmeier, Kevin [1] - ***** Brodkey, Harold [1] - ****1/2Brooks, Max [1] - ***1/2 Brown, Dan [2] - 0 starsBukowski, Charles [1] - **** Burke, James Lee [3] - ****Burgess, Tony [2] - ***1/2 Burroughs, Augustus [3] - ****Burroughs, William S. [3] - ****1/2 Caldwell, Ian [1] - ***Capote, Truman [1] - ***1/2 Carey, Peter [3] - ****1/2Carr, Caleb [2] - ***1/2 Carroll, Jonathan [2] - ***1/2Chabon, Michael [3] - ****1/2 Chandler, Raymond [5] - *****Chandra, Vikram [2] - ****1/2 Channer, Laurie [1] - **Chase, Clifford [1] - **** Christie, Agatha [1] - ***1/2Clarke, Susanna [1] - ****1/2 Cleave, Chris [1] - ****Coady, Lynn [1] - ****1/2 Coelho, Paul [1] - *1/2Collins, Max Allan [1] - **** Condon, Richard [3] - ****1/2Coover, Robert [2] - ****1/2 Cormier, Robert [3] - ****1/2Coupland, Douglas [6] - ***1/2 Crace, Jim [4] - ****1/2Crews, Harry [3] - **** Crichton, Michael [8] - ***Cullen, Sean [2] - ***1/2 Davidar, David [1] - ****DeLillo, Don [3] - ***** Dibdin, Michael [1] - ****DiChario, Nick [2] - **** Dick, Philip K. [7] - ****1/2Dickens, Charles [1] - ****1/2 Di Filippo, Paul [2] - ****Disch, Thomas M. [2] - **** Doctorow, Cory [3] - ****1/2Doctorow, E.L. [2] - **** Dodge, Jim [3] - *****Doyle, Arthur Conan [1] - **** Doyle, Roddy [7] - ****1/2Echo, Annabelle [1] - **** Eco, Umberto [2] - ****1/2Elliot, Chris [1] - *** Ellis, Warren [1] - ***1/2Ellroy, James [7] - ***** Elton, Ben [1] - **1/2Engel, Howard [1] - ***1/2 Evenson, Brian [1] - ****Fante, John [1] - ****1/2 Faust, Minister [2] - ****Fforde, Jasper [1] - **** Fitzgerald, F. Scott [1] - ****Fitzgerald, Michael A. [1] - ***1/2 Flaubert, Gustave [1] - ****1/2Fleming, Ian [2] - **** Flynn, Nick [1] - ****1/2Fforde, Jasper [2] - ****1/2 Fowler, Christopher [3] - ****Francis, Brian [1] - **** Franken, Al [2] - ****Fry, Stephen [3] - **** Gaiman, Neil [3] - ****Garcia, Eric [1] - ****Gardner, John [1] - ****1/2 Garland, Alex [2] - ****Garnet, Eldon [1] - **** Gaston, Bill [1] - ****1/2Gaylin, Willard, M.D. [1] - **** Gibson, William [4] - ****1/2Gifford, Barry [4] - **** Gilbert, Sky [1] ****Gischler, Victor [1] - ***1/2 Gorman, Ed [1] - ****Grand, David [1] - ***1/2 Greenwood, Ed [1] - **1/2Grescoe, Taras [2] - **** Groff, Lauren [1] - ****1/2Grossman, Austin [1] - **** Hage, Rawi [1] - ****Haldeman, Joe [1] - ***1/2 Hammett, Dashiell [2] - *****Harris, Mark [1] - **** Harris, Sam [1] - ****Harvey, Kenneth J. [6] - ****1/2 Hemingeway, Ernest [2] - ****1/2Highsmith, Patricia [5] - ***** Higson, Charles [1] -Hilles, Robert [1] - ****1/2 Horeck, Brian [1] - NO STARSHough, Robert [1] - ****1/2 Howard, Robert E. [2] - ***Hubbard, L. Ron [3] - *** Hughes, Matthew [1] - ****Hunter, Evan [1] - **** Huxley, Aldous [1] - ****1/2Idle, Eric [1] - *** Ings, Simon [1] - ***Irving, John [6] - ****1/2 Ishiguro, Kazuo [2] - ****Jackson, Mick [1] - **** Jakober, MArie [1] - ***1/2Jenkins, Jerry [1] - 0 stars - SQUAT! THE WORST! Jillette, Penn [1] - ***1/2Jin, Ha [1] - ****1/2 Johnston, Sean [1] - ****Johnston, Wayne [2] - ***** Jordan, Neil [1] - ****1/2Kaufman, Andrew [1] - **** Kay, Guy Gavriel [1] - ****1/2Keene, Brian [1] - ***1/2 Keneally, Thomas [2] - ****1/2Kerr, Philip [4] - **** Ketchum, Jack [1] - ***Kidd, Chip [1] - **** King, Daren [1] - ***1/2King, Laurie B. [1] - ***1/2 King, Stephen [52] - ****1/2Kinsella, W.P. [7] - ***** Koontz, Dean [5] - ***Kotzwinkle, William [6] - ****1/2 Krist, Gary [1] - ***1/2Lansdale, Joe R. [3] - ****1/2 Lehane, Dennis [1] - ****1/2LeHaye, Tim [1] - O stars Leonard, Elmore [9] - ****1/2Lethem, Jonathan [5] - ****1/2 Levin, Ira [3] - ***Lindsay, Jeff [1] - ****Lovecraft, H.P. [3] - **** Lowry, Lois [1] - ****Lukyanenko, Sergei [1] - ***1/2 Lumley, Brian [4] - **1/2Maclear, Kyo [1] - **** Malmont, Paul [1] - ***1/2Mamet, David [1] - ***1/2 Mankell, Henning [1] - ****Marche, Stephen [2] - ****1/2 Martin, George R.R. [1] - ****Martin, Steve [1] - *** Matheson, Richard [4] - ****1/2McBain, Ed [8] - ****1/2 McCall Smith, Alexander [3] - ****McCammon, Robert R. [7] - **** McCarthy, Cormac [1] - ****1/2McCormack, Eric [5] - ***** McFetridge, John [2] - ****McGrath, Patrick [3] - ****1/2 McInerney, Jay [1] - ****McMurtry, Larry [4] - ****1/2 Meek, James [1] - ****Millet, Lydia [3] - ***** Mistry, Rohinton [2] - ****1/2Moore, Christopher [3] - ***1/2 Moore, Susanna [1] - ***1/2Moorcock, Michael [3] - **** Morrison, Toni [1] - *****Morrow, James [5] - ****1/2 Mullen, Thomas [1] - ****Munro, Alice [1] - ****1/2 Munroe, Jim [4] - ***1/2Murphy, Yannick [1] - ***1/2 Nattel, Lillian [1] - ****Ness, Patrick [1] - ***** Nichols, John [1] - ****Niedzviecki, Hal [1] - **** Noon, Jeff [1] - ****Oates, Joyce Carol [1] - **** O'Connell, Jack [2] - ****1/2O'Nan, Stewart [4] - ****1/2 Ondatje, Michael [2] - ****1/2Orwell, George [2] - ***** Palahniuk, Chuck [7] - ****Palin, Michael [1] - **** Parker, Robert B. [3] - ****Patterson, James [2] - *1/2 Payne, Rob [1] - ***1/2Peck, M. Scott [1] - ** Pelecanos, George [2] - ****Peleven, Victor [1] - ***1/2 Perez-Reverte, Arturo [4] - ****1/2Petroski, Harry [2] - **** Powell, Richard [1] - ***1/2Pratchett, Terry [3] - **** Price, Rosellen [1] - 0 STARS - ABSOLUTELY INCOMPETENTProulx, E. Annie [1] - ****1/2 Pullman, Philip [3] - ****Pynchon, Thomas [2] - **** Pyper, Andrew [2] - ****Quarrington, Paul [10] - **** Rankin, Robert [2] - ****Raskin, Ellen [1] - ***1/2 Rayner, Mark A. [2] - ***1/2Redekop, Corey [2] - ** Reed, Ishmael [3] - ****Remarque, Erich Marian [1] - ***** Rempel, Byron [2] - ****Ridley, John [2] - ***1/2 Robbins, Tom [5] - ****1/2Robillard, Leo Brent [1] - ***1/2 Robinson, Peter [2] - ****Rucker, Rudy [1] - *** Ruff, Matt [1] - ****Salinger, J.D. [1] - ***** Samson, Ian [1] - ***1/2Saunders, George [1] - **** Savage, Sam [1] - ****1/2Sawyer, Robert J. [3] - **** Schultz, Emily [1] - ****Shelley, Mary [1] - ***1/2 Serrill, Steven [1] - ****Simmons, Dan [7] - ****1/2 Slade, Michael [3] - **Sladek, John [1] - ***1/2 Slattery, Brian Francis [1] - ****1/2Slinger, Joey [1] - *** Smith, Brad [2] - ***1/2Spillane, Mickey [3] - **** Stephenson, Neal [6] - ****1/2Stoker, Bram [1] - *1/2 Straub, Peter [4] - ****1/2Strube, Cordelia [1] - **** Sturgeon, Theodore [2] - ****1/2Sweatman, Margaret [1] - *** Swift, Graham [1] - ****1/2Takami, Koushun [1] - *1/2 Taylor, Timothy [2] - ***1/2Thomason, Dustin [1] - *** Thompson, Hunter S. [2] - ****Thompson, Jim [5] - ****1/2 Toews, Miriam [3] - ****Tolkien, J.R.R. [2] - **** Toole, John Kennedy [1] - ****1/2Trunkey, Laura [1] - ***1/2 Truss, Lynne [1] - ****VanderMeer, Jeff [1] - **** Vassanji, M.G. [1] - ****Vonnegut, Jr., Kurt [11] - ***** Wallace, David Foster [1] - ***1/2Watson, Ian [2] - ***1/2 Wellington, David [1] - ***1/2Wells, H.G. [3] - ****1/2 Whitehead, Colson [2] - ****1/2Winchester, Simon [1] - **** Winter, Michael [2] - ****1/2Winterson, Jeanette [2] - **** Wolf, Gary K. [1] - ***1/2Yoshimoto, Banana [1] - **** Zelazny, Roger [2] - ****Zimmerman, David [1] - ****1/2 Zipp, Steve [1] - ***1/2

965 books since June of 1995, and 78 in 2008!
{78} LOVE BLOCK (2005) - Meghan Austin & Shannon Mullally - ** {77} FLUKE (2003) - Christopher Moore - ****{76} FIERCE INVALIDS HOME FROM HOT CLIMATES (2000) - Tom Robbins - ***1/2 {75} JACK IN THE BOX (1980) - William Kotzwinkle - **** {74} THE TOYMINATOR (2006) - Robert Rankin - ***1/2{73} INSIDE (2006) - Kenneth J. Harvey - ****1/2 {72} SOCK (2004) - Penn Jillette - ***1/2{71} THE PILO FAMILY CIRCUS (2006) - Will Elliot - **** {70} THE SCREAM (1990, 2006, 2008) - Rohinton Mistry - ***1/2 {69} WINKIE (2006) - Cliford Chase - *****{68} MAN IN THE DARK (2008) - Paul Auster - **** {67} BROTHER DUMB (2007) - Sky Gilbert - ****1/2 {66} LETTER TO A CHRISTIAN NATION (2006) - Sam Harris - ****{65} LAST DAYS (2008, 2009) - Brian Evenson - **** {64} GODBLOG (2008) - Laurie Channer - *1/2{63} A CASE OF YOU (2007) - Rick Blechta - **1/2 {62} THE FLYING TROUTMANS (2008) - Miriam Toews - **** {61} GEORGE BUSH, DARK PRINCE OF LOVE: A PRESIDENTIAL ROMANCE (2000) - Lydia Millet - **** {60} SPACEMAN BLUES: A LOVE SONG (2007) - Brian Francis Slattery - ****1/2 {59} GUN MONKEYS (2001) - Victor Gischler - ***1/2 {58} ANATHEM (2008) - Neal Stephenson - ***1/2{57} ENTITLEMENT (2008) - Johnathan Bennett - ****1/2 {56} THE GREAT SECRET (2008) - L. Ron Hubbard - ** {55} THE INCREDIBLY ORDINARY DANNY CHANDELIER (2008) - Laura Trunkey - *** {54} MR DIXON DISAPPEARS (2006) - Ian Samson - ***{53} CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON: TIME'S BLACK LAGOON (2006) Paul Di Filippo - **1/2 {52} EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS IS NOWHERE (2008) - John McFetridge - **** {51} GUN, WITH OCCASIONAL MUSIC (1994) - Jonathan Lethem - ****1/2 {50} COCKROACH (2008) Rawi Hage - ****{49} CHOKE (2001) - Chuck Palahniuk - ***1/2 {48} THE MONSTERS OF TEMPLETON (2008) - Lauren Groff - ****1/2 {47} THE KILLING CIRCLE (2008) - Andrew Pyper - ****{46} HARD REVOLUTION (2004) - George Pelecanos - **** {45} IDENTITY THEFT AND OTHER STORIES (2008) - Robert J. Sawyer - **** {44} THE KILL-OFF (1957) - Jim Thompson - ***1/2 {43} THE ORDER OF GOOD CHEER (2008) - Bill Gaston - ****1/2{42} ITERATIONS AND OTHER STORIES (2002) - Robert J. Sawyer - **** {41} SNUFF (2008) - Chuck Palahniuk - ***1/2{40} FLIGHT (2007) - Sherman Alexie - ***1/2 {39} VALLEY OF DAY-GLO (2008) - Nick DiChario - **** {38} LAST NIGHT AT THE LOBSTER (2007) - Stewart O'Nan - ****{37} THE RAVINE (2008) - Paul Quarrington - **** {36} YELLOWKNIFE (2007) - Steve Zipp - ****{35} THE HAUNTED HILLBILLY (2003) - Derek McCormack - ***1/2 {34} NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (2005) - Cormac McCarthy - ****1/2 {33} THE COYOTE KINGS OF THE SPACE-AGE BACHELOR PAD (2004) - Minister Faust - **** {32} THE END OF THE ALPHABET (2007) - CS Richardson - ***1/2 {31} WE ARE NOW BEGINNING OUR DESCENT (2008) - James Meek - **** {30} FAREWELL SUMMER (2006) - Ray Bradbury - ***{29} EVERYONE IN SILICO (2002) - Jim Munroe - **** {28} NOTHING TO BE FRIGHTENED OF (2008) - Julian Barnes - ***1/2 {27} THE CHEESE MONKEYS (2001) - Chip Kidd - **** {26} SHARP TEETH (2008) - Toby Barlow - ****{25} BLAZE (2007) - Richard Bachman - ***1/2 {24} CABAL (1988) - CLive Barker - ****{23} HOW THE DEAD DREAM (2008) - Lydia Millet - ****1/2 {22} ALL MY FRIENDS ARE SUPERHEROES (2003) - Andrew Kaufman - **** {21} FOREVER PEACE (1997) - Joe Haldeman - ***1/2 {20} THE BEACH (1996) - Alex Garland - ****1/2{19} COBWEB (1997) - Neal Stephenson & Frederick George - ***1/2 {18} LUCKY JIM (1953) - Kingsley Amis - ***1/2{17} THE RESURRECTIONIST (2008) - Jack O'Connell - ***1/2 {16} THE GUM THIEF (2007) - Douglas Coupland - **** {15} THE CAT'S PAJAMAS AND OTHER STORIES (2004) - James Morrow - **** {14} THE ITALIAN SECRETARY (2005) - Caleb Carr - ***{13} FORMS OF DEVOTION (1998) - Diane Schoemperlen - ***1/2 {12] CITY OF SAINTS AND MADMEN (2002) - Jeff VanderMeer - **** {11} THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES (1950) - Ray Bradbury - ****1/2{10} THE CHINATOWN DEATH CLOUD PERIL (2006) - Paul Malmont - ***1/2 {9} HIS ILLEGAL SELF (2008) - Peter Carey - ****1/2 {8} GENTLEMEN OF THE ROAD (2007) - Michael Chabon - ***1/2{7} AT THE VILLA OF REDUCED CIRCUMSTANCES (2003) - Alexander McCall Smith - **** {6} AMERICAN GODS (2001) - Neil Gaiman - ****1/2 {5} MISTER B. GONE (2007) - Clive Barker - ***1/2{4} THE FINER POINTS OF SAUSAGE DOGS (2003) - Alexander McCall Smith - **** {3} AT A LOSS FOR WORDS (2007) - Diane Schoemperlen - ** {2} PORTUGUESE IRREGULAR VERBS (2003) - Alexander McCall Smith - **** {1} SOON I WILL BE INVINCIBLE (2007) - Austin Grossman - ****[86] BIG MAN COMING DOWN THE ROAD (2007) - Brad Smith - *** [85] I AM AMERICA (AND SO CAN YOU!) (2007) - Stephen Colbert et al. - ***1/2 [84] THE CULPRITS (2007) - Robert Hough - ****1/2 [83] PUNCH LINE (2005) - Joey Slinger - **[82] HOUDINI'S SHADOW (2006) - Leo Brent Robillard - ***1/2 [81] RADIANT DAYS (2007) - Michael A. Fitzgerald - ***1/2 [80] AN ALIEN HEAT (1972) - Michael Moorcock - ***1/2[79] THE TOOTHPICK: TECHNOLOGY AND CULTURE (2007) - Harry Petroski - **** [78] THE COMMONS (2007) - Matthew Hughes - **** [77] PHANTOMS (1983) - Dean Koontz - **1/2[76] THE ASSASSIN'S SONG (2007) - M.G. Vassanji - ***1/2 [75] LIFE, THE UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING (1982) - Douglas Adams - **** [74] THE RESTAURANT AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE (1980) - Douglas Adams - **** [73] THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY (1979) - Douglas Adams - ****1/2 [72] MOBY-DICK, OR, THE WHALE (1851) - Herman Melville - ***1/2 [71] THE DESTROYER #143: BAD DOG (2006) - Warren Murphy - ***[70] THE BRIEF AND FRIGHTENING REIGN OF PHIL (2005) - George Saunders - **** [69] ANONYMOUS LAWYER (2006) - Jeremy Blachford - ***1/2 [68] JENNIFER GOVERNMENT (2003) - Max Barry - ****[67] THE CRACK IN SPACE (1966) - Philip K. Dick - **1/2 [66] CROOKED LITTLE VEIN (2007) - Warren Ellis - ***1/2 [65] BAD MONKEYS (2007) - Matt Ruff - ****[64] THE ARCHITECTS ARE HERE (2007) - Michael Winter - ****1/2 [63] THE MAN WHO FORGOT HOW TO READ (2007) - Howard Engel - ***1/2 [62] CADILLAC JUKEBOX (1995) - James Lee Burke - **** [61] THE ARCHITECTS ARE HERE (2007) - Michael Winter - ****1/2[60] THE COLOR OF MAGIC (1983) - Terry Pratchett - **** [59] THE INVISIBLE MAN (1897) - H.G. Wells - *** [58] THE SOLITUDE OF EMPERORS (2007) - David Davidar - ****[57] HAMISH X AND THE HOLLOW MOUNTAIN (2007) - Sean Cullen - ***1/2 [56] HAMISH X AND THE CHEESE PIRATES (2006) - Sean Cullen - ***1/2 [55] WOLFSHEAD (1979) - Robert E. Howard - ***[54] RUNAWAY BLACK (1954) - Ed McBain - ***1/2 [53] A WRINKLE IN TIME (1962) - Madeleine L'Engle - ***1/2 [52] DEAD LINES (1988) - John Skipp & Craig Spector - ***1/2[51] SON OF ROSEMARY (1997) - Ira Levin - * [50] EVERYBODY'S SOMEBODY'S FOOL (2002) - Ed Gorman - ***1/2 [49] SHINING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA (2007) - Stephen Marche - **** [48] HOW TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE AGAIN (2007) - Rob Payne - ***1/2[47] CALCULATING GOD (2000) - Robert J. Sawyer - **1/2 [46] STRAY DOGS (1997) - John Ridley - ***1/2[45] THE GUTTER AND THE GRAVE (1958) - Ed McBain - ***1/2 [44] RAYMOND AND HANNAH (2005) - Stephen Marche - **** [43] THE GIVER (1993) - Lois Lowry - ****[42] THE AMPHORA PROJECT (2005) - William Kotzwinkle - ***1/2 [41] ISLE OF THE DEAD (1969) - Roger Zelazny - ***1/2 [40] UNDER THE BLACK ENSIGN (1936) - L. Ron Hubbard - **1/2[39] DAMNATION ALLEY (1969) - Roger Zelazny - **** [38] VENUS ON THE HALF-SHELL (1974,1975) - Kilgore Trout aka Philip Jose Farmer - **** [37] STRANGE AFFAIR (2005) - Peter Robinson - **** [36] BURNING CHROME (1986) - William Gibson - ***1/2[35] MEG: PRIMAL WATERS (2004) - Steve Alten - ** [34] BATTLE ROYALE (1999) - Koushun Takami, trans. Yuji Oniki - * [33] THE MINOTAUR TAKES A CIGARETTE BREAK (2000) - Steven Sherrill - **** [32] RANT: AN ORAL BIOGRAPHY OF BUSTER CASEY (2007) - Chuck Palahniuk - **** [31] HARD FREEZE (2002) - Dan Simmons - ****[30] SOMEONE COMES TO TOWN, SOMEONE LEAVES TOWN - Cory Doctorow - ****1/2 [29] BOOKS OF BLOOD VOLUME 5 (1985) - Clive Barker - **** [28] THE HALIFAX CONNECTION (2007) - Marie Jakober - ***1/2[27] BOOKS OF BLOOD VOLUME 6 (1985) - Clive Barker - ***1/2 [26] GOD BLESS YOU, MR. ROSEWATER (1965) - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. - ****1/2 [25] THE SHIPPING NEWS (1995) - E. Annie Proulx - ***** [24] FIRMIN: ADVENTURES OF A METROPOLITAN LOWLIFE (2006) - Sam Savage - ****1/2 [23] DARKLY DREAMING DEXTER (2004) - Jeff Lindsay - ***1/2[22] TRUE DETECTIVE (1997) - Byron Rempel - ***1/2 [21] THE HELMET OF HORROR (2005) - Victor Peleven, trans. Andrew Bromfield - **1/2 [20] SAY IT WITH BULLETS (1953) - Richard Powell - ***1/2 [19] A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES (1980) - John Kennedy Toole - ****1/2 [18] PLANET REESE (2007) - Cordelia Strube - ****[17] THE NIGHT WATCH (1998, 2004) - Sergei Lukyanenko, trans. Andrew Bromfield - ***1/2 [16] THE ARMAGEDDON RAG (1983) - George R.R. Martin - **** [15] FROM THE NOTEBOOKS OF DR. BRAIN (2007) - Minister Faust - **** [14] THE MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE (1962) - Philip K. Dick - ****1/2 [13] MOONRAKER (1955) - Ian Fleming - ***1/2[12] TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE (1997) - Mitch Albom - ** [11] THE UNIVERSAL BASEBALL ASSOCIATION, INC., J. HENRY WAUGH, PROP. (1968) - Robert Coover - ****1/2 [10] THE MYSTERIUM (1992) - Eric McCormack - ****1/2 [9] KING OF THE ANTS (1992) - Charlie Higson - ****[8] INTERESTING TIMES (1994) - Terry Pratchett - **** [7] GRENDEL (1971) - John Gardner - ****[6] RUM PUNCH (1992) - Elmore Leonard - **** [5] OUTSIDE THE DOG MUSEUM (1992) - Jonathan Carroll - ***1/2 [4] THE PROGRAM (2005) - Hal Niedzviecki - ****[3] THE LETTER OPENER (2007) - Kyo Maclear - **** [2] A SMALL AND REMARKABLE LIFE (2006) - Nick DiChario - ***** [1] BANG THE DRUM SLOWLY (1956) - Mark Harris - ****{97} THE MURDER OF ROGER ACKROYD (1926) - Agatha Christie - **** {96} LIES, INC. (1963, 1983, 1984) - Philip K. Dick - ***1/2 {95} THE SHROUD OF THE THWACKER (2005) - Chris Elliot - ***1/2{94) APEX HIDES THE HURT (2006) - Colson Whitehead - **** {93} DIRTY SWEET (2006) - John McFetridge - ***1/2 {92} SHELF MONKEY (2007) - Corey Redekop - ***{91} SACRED GAMES (2006) - Vikram Chandra - ****1/2 {90} THE RISING (2004) - Brian Keene - ***{89} THE LAST TOWN ON EARTH (2006) - Thomas Mullen - **** {88} THE SECOND ANGEL (1998) - Philip Kerr - **1/2 {87} THE EYRE AFFAIR (2001) - Jasper Fforde - ****{86} STARDUST (1990) - Robert B. Parker - ***1/2 {85} DOUBLE DEUCE (1992) - Robert B. Parker - ***1/2 {84} THE LAST SHERLOCK HOLMES STORY (1978) - Michael Dibdin - ***1/2 {83} TRUTH IS NAKED, ALL OTHERS PAY CASH (2005) - Byron Rempel - ***1/2 {82} SYRUP (1999) - Maxx Barry - ***{81} WORLD WAR Z: AN ORAL HISTORY OF THE ZOMBIE WAR (2006) - Max Brooks - ***1/2 {80} ALL THIS TOWN REMEMBERS (2006) - Sean Johnston - **** {79} THE STARS' TENNIS BALLS (2001) - Stephen Fry - ****{78} RED EARTH AND POURING RAIN (1995) - Vikram Chandra - ***1/2 {77} THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY (1955) - Patricia Highsmith - ****1/2 {76} HERE THEY COME (2006) - Yannick Murphy - ***1/2 {75} PSYCHO (1959) - Robert Bloch - ***1/2{74} BLOOD & WINE (2004) - Rosellen Price - 0 STARS! THE 2ND WORST NOVEL EVER WRITTEN! {73} DOWN AND OUT IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM (2003) - Cory Doctorow - ****1/2 {72} ASK THE DUST (1939) - John Fante - ****1/2 {71} THE LAST QUARRY (2006) - Max Allan Collins - ****{70} EXTRAVAGANCE (2002) - Gary Krist - *** {69} THE DEVIL'S LARDER (2001) - Jim Crace - **** {68} OFF SEASON (1980, 1999) - Jack Ketchum - ***{67} BROWN'S REQUIEM (1981) - James Ellroy - *** {66} MORE THAN HUMAN (1952) - Theodore Sturgeon - ****1/2 {65} LIFE OF PI (2001) - Yann Martel - *****{64} WYOMING (2000) - Barry Gifford - *** {63} MONSTER ISLAND (2006) - Daivd Wellington - **** {62} THE BEAR WENT OVER THE MOUNTAIN (1996) - William Kotzwinkle - ***** {61} BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIG CITY (1984) - Jay McInerney - ****1/2{60} THE WOMAN WHO WALKED INTO DOORS (1996) - Roddy Doyle - ****1/2 {59} CRASH (1973) - J.G. Ballard - ***1/2{58} PAULA SPENCER (2006) - Roddy Doyle - **** {57} THE KINGLESS LAND (2000) - Ed Greenwood - **1/2 {56} THE HORSE WITH MY NAME (2002) - Colin Bateman - ***1/2{55} READING BROOKE SHIELDS: THE GARDEN OF FAILURE (1995) - Eldon Garnet - **** {54} THE CRYING OF LOT 49 (1966, 1965) - Thomas Pynchon - ***1/2 {53} MINNOW TRAP (2005) - Brian Horeck - HOLY SHIT!!! THE WORST NOVEL IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND! {52} JOYLAND (2006) - Emily Schultz - ****{51} QUEER (1985) - William S. Burroughs - ***1/2 {50} LIVES OF GIRLS AND WOMEN (1971) - Alice Munro - ****1/2 {49} BOATING FOR BEGINNERS (1985) - Jeanette Winterson - ***1/2{48} THE WEIGHT OF NUMBERS (2005) - Simon Ings - *** {47} BELOVED (1987) - Toni Morrison - ****1/2{46} FRANKENSTEIN UNBOUND (1973) - Brian W. Aldiss - ***1/2 {45} THE RULE OF FOUR (2004) - Ian Caldwell & Dustin Thomason - *** {44} THE GREAT GATSBY (1925) - F. Scott Fitzgerald - **** {43} FRANKENSTEIN (1831) - Mary Shelley - ***1/2{42} THE BEEKEEPER'S APPRENTICE (1994) - Laurie B. King - ***1/2 {41} A STUDY IN SCARLET (1887) - Arthur Conan Doyle - **** {40} CELL (2006) - Stephen King - ****{39} GREAT EXPECTATIONS (1860-1861) - Charles Dickens - ****1/2 {38} MADAME BOVARY (1857) - Gustave Flaubert, Trans. Geoffrey Wall - ****1/2 {37} PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (1813) - Jane Austen - *** {36} WHO CENSORED ROGER RABBIT? (1981) - Gary K. Wolf - ***1/2{35} THE BRIEF HISTORY OF THE DEAD (2006) - Kevin Brockmeier - ***** {34} SAINTS OF BIG HARBOUR (2002) - Lynn Coady - ****1/2 {33} WILD DUCKS FLYING BACKWARD (2005) - Tom Robbins - ***1/2{32} FATHER OF FRANKENSTEIN (1995) - Christopher Bram - ****1/2 {31} ANONYMOUS REX (2000) - Eric Garcia - ****{30} SIDETRACKED (1995) - Henning Mankell, Trans. Steven T. Murray - **** {29} JIM GIRAFFE (2004) - Daren King - ***1/2{28} jPod (2006) - Douglas Coupland - ***1/2 {27} BONES OF THE MOON (1987) - Jonathan Carroll - ***1/2 {26} THE HELLMOUTHS OF BEWDLEY (1997) - Tony Burgess - ***1/2{25} STORY HOUSE (2006) - Timothy Taylor - ***1/2 {24} THE DIVINE RYANS (1990) - Wayne Johnston - ****1/2 {23} FICTION FOR LOVERS:FRESHLY CUT TALES OF FLESH, FEAR, LARVAE, AND LOVE (2003) - Tony Burgess - **** {22} THE MONKEY WRENCH GANG (1975) - Edward Abbey - ***1/2 {21} OH PURE AND RADIANT HEART (2005) - Lydia Millet - *****{20} CATCHER IN THE RYE (1945, 1946, 1951) - J.D. Salinger - ***** {19} AIRFRAME (1996) - Michale Crichton - **{18} THE TENT (2006) - Margaret Atwood - **1/2 {17} STANDARD EASTERN TRIBE (2004) - Cory Doctorow - ***1/2 {16} THE COLORADO KID (2005) - Stephen King - ***{15} STILL LIFE WITH WOODPECKER (1980) - Tom Robbins - ***1/2 {14} HEY NOSTRADAMUS! (2003) - Douglas Coupland - **** {13} BLOODSUCKING FIENDS (1995) - Christopher Moore - ***{12} SUMMER CROSSING (2006) - Truman Capote - *** {11} FRUIT (2004) - Brian Francis - ***1/2{10} MICROSERFS (1995) - Douglas Coupland - **** {9} ELEANOR RIGBY (2004) - Douglas Coupland - ***1/2 {8} JONATHAN STRANGE & MR NORELL (2004) - Susanna Clarke - ***** {7} PURITY OF BLOOD (2006) - Arturo Perez-Reverte - ****{6} GENERATION X: TALES FROM AN ACCELERATED CULTURE (1991) - Douglas Coupland - ****1/2 {5} THE FINAL SOLUTION (2004) - Michael Chabon - ****1/2 {4} THE STEAMPUNK TRILOGY (1995) - Paul Di Filippo - ****1/2{3} THE DEVIL'S PICNIC: AROUND THE WORLD IN PURSUIT OF FORBIDDEN FRUIT (2006) - Taras Grescoe - ****1/2 {2} SHOWBIZ (2005) - Jason Anderson - ****{1} THE AMBER SPYGLASS: HIS DARK MATERIALS BOOK III (2000) - Philip Pullman - **** [109] THE SUBTLE KNIFE: HIS DARK MATERIALS BOOK II (1997) - Philip Pullman - **** [108] HOME GAME (1983) - Paul Quarrington - ****1/2 [107] THE LITTLE SISTER (1949) - Raymond Chandler - ****[106] THE PROFESSOR AND THE MADMAN: A TALE OF MURDER, INSANITY, AND THE MAKING OF THE OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY (1998) - Simon Winchester - **** [105] THE LADY IN THE LAKE (1943) - Raymond Chandler - **** [104] 7 STEPS TO MIDNIGHT (1993) - Richard Matheson - **[103] CANDYLAND (2001) Evan Hunter & Ed McBain - **** [102] THE ASH GARDEN (2001) - Dennis Bock - **** [101] THE DISAPPEARING BODY (2001) - David Grand - ***1/2[100] INSPECTING THE VAULTS (1987) - Eric McCormack - ****1/2 [99] THE UNDERGROUND MAN (1997) - Mick Jackson - **** [98] A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES (1992) - Lawrence Block - ****[97] POLLEN (1995) - Jeff Noon - **** [96] FOX (1991) - Margaret Sweatman - **1/2[95] THE CRASH OF HENNINGTON (2003) - Patrick Ness - ***** [94] IN THE CUT (1995) - Susanna Moore - ***1/2 [93] THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE (2003) - Jonathan Lethem - ****1/2 [92] CTHULHU: THE MYTHOS AND KINDRED HORRORS (1987) - Robert E. Howard - ** [91] THE HAUNTING OF L. (2002) - Howard Norman - ****1/2[90] POPCORN (1996) - Ben Elton - **1/2 [89] BAD BOY BRAWLY BROWN (2002) - Walter Mosley - **** [88] THE FIFTH CHILD (1988) - Doris Lessing - ****[87] THE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM (1968) - John Sladek - ***1/2 [86] PLAYBACK (1958) - Raymond Chandler - ****[85] STEVENSON UNDER THE PALM TREES (2002) - Alberto Manguel - **** [84] BAAL (1978) - Robert R. McCammon - ***1/2[83] ON BULLSHIT (2005) - Harry G. Frankfurt - ***1/2 [82] A CANTICLE FOR LEIBOWITZ (1959) - Walter M. Miller, Jr. - ***** [81] ANANSI BOYS (2005) - Neil Gaiman - ****[80] THE LONG GOODBYE (1953) - Raymond Chandler - ***** [79] MEDICINE RIVER (1989) - Thomas King - ****1/2 [78] THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST (1980) - Robert A. Heinlein - *1/2[77] THE WELL OF LOST PLOTS (2003) - Jasper Fforde - ****1/2 [76] AN AROMA OF COFFEE (1993) - Dany Laferriere, Trans. David Homel - **** [75] THE COMA (2004) - Alex Garland - ***[74] WAR OF THE WORLDS (1898) - H.G. Wells - ****1/2 [73] STRANGERS ON A TRAIN (1950) - Patricia Highsmith - ****1/2 [72] FREEZER BURN (1999) - Joe R. Lansdale - ****[71] THE TIME MACHINE (1895) - H.G. Wells - **** [70] THE TURNING (2005) - Tim Winton - ***1/2[69] LITTLE SCARLET (2004) - Walter Mosley - ****1/2 [68] THE TOWN THAT FORGOT HOW TO BREATHE (2003) - Kenneth J. Harvey - ****1/2 [67] FIRST BLAST OF THE TRUMPET AGAINST THE MONSTROUS REGIMENT OF WOMEN (1997) - Eric McCormack - ****1/2[66] ARTHUR & GEORGE (2005) - Julian Barnes - **** [65] THE ENEMY STARS (1958, 1979) - Poul Anderson - *** [64] 361 (1962) - Donald E. Westlake - ****[63] PSYCHOMECH (1984) - Brian Lumley - ** [62] THE CONFESSION (2004) - Domenic Stansberry - **** [61] INCENDIARY (2005) - Chris Cleave - ***1/2[60] HAUNTED (2005) - Chuck Palahniuk - **1/2 [59] THE MEANDERINGS OF THE EMILY CHESLEY READING CIRCLE (2003) - Mark A. Rayner et al. - ***1/2[58] HARDY BOYS MYSTERY STORIES: THE YELLOW FEATHER MYSTERY (1953) - Franklin W. Dixon - **1/2[57] FAHRENHEIT 451 (1953) - Ray Bradbury - ***** [56] ANOTHER BULLSHIT NIGHT IN SUCK CITY (2004) - Nick Flynn - ****1/2 [55] THE AMADEUS NET (2005) - Mark A. Rayner - **** [54] OUR FRIENDS FROM FROLIX 8 (1970) - Philip K. Dick - ***[53] THE GIFT OF STONES (1988) - Jim Crace - **** [52] THE RUMPLESTILTSKIN PROBLEM (2000) - Vivian Vande Velde - **1/2 [51] THE WIZARD OF OZ (1900) - L. Frank Baum - ***1/2 [50] ONLY BEGOTTEN DAUGHTER (1990) - James Morrow - ****1/2[49] I AM THE CHEESE (1977) - Robert Cormier - ****1/2 [48] THE WESTING GAME (1978) - Ellen Raskin - ***1/2 [47] ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT'S ME, MARGARET (1970) - Judy Blume - ****1/2 [46] WICKED (1995) - Gregory Maguire - ****1/2[45] WONDER BOYS (1995) - Michael Chabon - ***** [44] THE GOLDEN COMPASS: HIS DARK MATERIALS BOOK I (1995) - Philip Pullman - ****1/2 [43] SKINNY LEGS AND ALL (1990) - Tom Robbins - ***** [42] ABARAT: DAYS OF MAGIC, NIGHTS OF WAR (2004) - Clive Barker - **** [41] ZODIAC: THE ECO-THRILLER (1988) - Neal Stephenson - ****1/2 [40] THE CAPTAIN IS OUT TO LUNCH AND THE SAILORSHAVE TAKEN OVER THE SHIP (1998) - Charles Bukowski - ***1/2 [39] AS SHE CLIMBED ACROSS THE TABLE (1997) - Jonathan Lethem - ****1/2 [38] JAPANESE BY SPRING (1993) - Ishmael Reed - ***1/2 [37] BLUE WORLD (1990) - Robert R. McCammon - ***[36] THE WALL OF THE SKY, THE WALL OF THE EYE (1996) - Jonathan Lethem - **** [35] DUNE MESSIAH (1969) - Frank Herbert - **** [34] THIS WILD DARKNESS: THE STORY OF MY DEATH (1996) - Harold Brodkey - ****1/2 [33] DEATH IN HOLY ORDERS (2001) - P.D. James - ****[32] ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (1929, 1930) - Erich Marian Remarque - ***** [31] ANIMAL FARM (1945) - George Orwell - ***** [30] AN OPENING ACT OF UNSPEAKABLE EVIL (2004) - Jim Munroe - ***1/2 [29] THE ROAD TO THE DARK TOWER:EXPLORING STEPHEN KING'S MAGNUM OPUS (2004) - Bev Vincent - *** [28] FLYBOY ACTION FIGURE COMES WITH GASMASK (1998) - Jim Munroe - ***1/2 [27] THE DARK TOWER VII: THE DARK TOWER (2004) - Stephen King - ****1/2 [26] THE HOT KID(2005) - Elmore Leonard- ****1/2 [25] RIPPING YARNS(1978) - Michael Palin & Terry Jones - ****[24] THE SUN ALSO RISES (1926) - Ernest Hemingway - ****1/2 [23] THE MARTIAN INCA (1977) - Ian Watson - ***1/2 [22] CRUEL SHOES (1977, 1979) - Steve Martin - **[21] THE DA VINCI CODE (2003) - Dan Brown - *1/2 [20] BLAMESLESS IN ABADDON (1996) - James Morrow - **** [19] THE ETERNAL FOOTMAN (1999) - James Morrow - ****[18] THE FERMATA (1994) - Nicholson Baker - ***1/2 [17] HELLO AMERICA (1981) - J.G. Ballard - ***1/2 [16] DUNE (1964) - Frank Herbert - *****[15] THE PRISONER (1967, 2001) - Thomas M. Disch - ***1/2 [14] THE SPACE VAMPIRES (1976) - Colin Wilson - *** [13] THE BOOK OF IFS AND BUTS (2002) - Rabindranath Maharaj - ****1/2 [12] THE MAN WHO TURNED INTO HIMSELF (1993) - David Ambrose - *** [11] THE GENOCIDES (1965) - Thomas M. Disch - ****1/2[10] COMING THROUGH SLAUGHTER (1976) - Michale Ondaatje - **** [9] THE BIG WHY (2004) - Michale Winter - ****1/2 [8] PHASE IV (1973) - Barry N. Malzberg - ***1/2[7] NEVER LET ME GO (2005) - Kazuo Ighiguro - ***1/2 [6] THE DIVINE INVASION (1981) - Philip K. Dick - **** [5] HATRED (2003) - Willard Gaylin, M.D. - ****[4] THE TOTEM (1979) - David Morrell - ***1/2 [3] DIGITAL FORTRESS (1998) - Dan Brown - *[2] ICE (1983) - Ed McBain - **** [1] EATS, SHOOTS & LEAVES (2003) - Lynne Truss - ****

________________________________________

I am 37, just having earned my Masters in Library Sciences, and am already the director of a public library. I also have an honours degree in theatre, a certificate in broadcasting, and a law degree. As you can see, I am an exceedingly well-rounded individual.
I recently published my first novel, Shelf Monkey. Please purchase it, as I'm trying to pay off my student loans.
I am also an amateur playwright, having had several plays performed at the Winnipeg Fringe Festival. If you can ever make it to the Fringe (late July), do so. It's one of the best theatrical times you'll ever have.
I take my alias from the novel by Jim Dodge. If you can get your hands on a copy, do so. It's a great read.
I read everything I can get my hands on.
I read old books, new books. Books that make you think. Books that inhibit the thinking process.
Great books. Awful Books.
I have read (and loved) Bellow, Shakespeare, and King.
I have read (and detested) Koontz, Follett, and Clancy.
I have read (and been befuddled by) Amis, Burroughs, and Pynchon.
Books I'd take with me to a desert isle:
The Crash of Hennington
The Iowa Baseball Confederacy.
The World According to Garp.
Henderson the Rain King.
The Shipping News.
Underworld.
The Sheltering Sky.
The Long Goodbye.
The Shining.
The Damnation Game.
Stone Junction (of course).
A Clockwork Orange.
The Life of Pi.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time

Books that make me long for the days of book-burnings:
Minnow Trap
Blood and Wine
The Da Vinci Code
The Chicago Healer
Bed of Nails
Meg: A Novel of Deep Terror
Cheap Ticket to Heaven
The Bad Place
The Third Twin
The Lost World: Jurassic Park
The Walking

I will leave no novel unfinished.
I even completed Mason & Dixon.