Worst Journeys: The Picador Book of Travel

by Keath Fraser | Travel | This book has not been rated.
ISBN: 0330321412 Global Overview for this book
Registered by Skyring of Reid, Australian Capital Territory Australia on 4/1/2013
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Journal Entry 1 by Skyring from Reid, Australian Capital Territory Australia on Monday, April 1, 2013
I'm embarking on an adventure tomorrow. First stop, Canberra, where fog will delay my plane, and I will miss my flight in Sydney to Johannesburg, where my luggage will be stolen. In Heathrow, I'll get lost, I'll prang my rental car, there will be no room at my hotel and I'll have to eat a vegan meal on the way to Turkey.

In Istanbul, I'll be waylaid by the police, accused of speeding and forced to pay a huge bribe. Arriving at Gallipoli, I'll tumble down a steep ravine, have to be choppered out with a broken leg and be injected for tetanus from the rusty barbed wire.

In Scotland, it will snow continuously, and when not snowing, it will rain. My credit cards will be compromised and the bank freeze all my funds, which will be kind of appropriate.

The flight to Sweden will be cancelled by the volcanic dust, and when I finally make it after being seasick on an overpriced ferry, my taxi driver will crash the cab and break the other leg.

I'll be kept up all night in the Heathrow Yotel, assuming I make it that far, by the sounds of snoring from one direction, lovemaking from the other, and drunken fighting in the corridor.

They will bump my Dallas Fort Worth seat down to coach - the one decent flight of the whole trip - and I will be questioned severely both on departure and arrival, causing me to miss the first flight in a cascading series of interruptions and delays.

I might as well not bother with Seattle - I'll arrive after midnight, get to sleep just in time for the fire alarm, and my flight to Chicago will get in after four hours delay due to mechanical defect, causing the undercarriage to collapse upon landing. seperating me from what's left of my baggage.

The Mustang I ordered will turn out to be an aged Sebring with a smoke problem and a manual transmission, which I cannot drive. I'll get lost trying to find Route 66, end up in Lansing, Michigan, and have to race back to catch my connecting flight to Miami. The hotel will have bedbugs.

San Francisco is due for an earthquake, my extremely tight connection in Chicago (again) will see the plane door slammed in my face, and when i finally get to New York, there will be a terrorist threat and all the cabs grounded.

After three hellish days in an evacuation centre, my two-legged flight to Sydney will be short-staffed, out of champagne and I'll get lost in LAX. The flight to Sydney will be diverted to Brisbane after a sixteen hour flight, they will put me on a propellor job home and the turbulence will make me - and everyone else - violently airsick.

On arrival in Canberra, there will be no cabs in the winter blast.

Looking forward to my holiday. Pray for me!

Released 10 yrs ago (4/1/2013 UTC) at Canberra Airport in Canberra, Australian Capital Territory Australia

WILD RELEASE NOTES:

I'll leave this fun book somewhere in the airport. Like as not it will spark a security scare and all flights will be delayed as they rescreen everyone and blow up the book. Cheers!

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